Saturday, October 4, 2008

I'm going to tell you but it's a long story

I am a survivor of abuse...that will make you cranky right there, but there's more to it than that. Let's start with my birth, I'm a bastard. As in, my mother was unwed, the sperm donor on the other hand was married. Still might be, don't know as I've never actually met him. I wasn't her first bastard child and the other one was also married. I'd like to say married men are to blame but that's not wholly true. My mom could have said no, but they would have just found some other "desperate" woman to lay with. Not only was my mother a slut but she lied, cheated and used people too. Not totally her fault, my stepfather led her down that path. I swore I'd never be like her. I probably shouldn't be to harsh, her childhood wasn't a bed of roses either, she was just perpetuating what she had learned. Well, I chose to make the future different she chose to carry on the way it had always been. I'm sure that at some point she thought she was making a different choice but the mistakes she made early in life kept her chained to the old way.